


Some kind of disaster

by BearBear8



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22898788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BearBear8/pseuds/BearBear8
Summary: They others knew Roman didn’t cope very well.They knew how on bad days he would get quiet, they knew to ignore the seemingly endless thin red lines that Roman thought no one would notice, when his sleeves rode up just a bit too far.They knew, but said nothing. Afraid of what the prince would do if he found out they knew.That is, until, one day they couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room anymore, one day when Roman went too far...
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 25
Kudos: 92





	1. I’m the ghost of my mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> Yooo look at this! Another vent-y fic of me projecting onto Roman?? Who woulda guessed! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ 
> 
> Sooo yeah! This’ll have another chapter to it, so don’t worry. (Idk when that’ll be but yknow,,,) 
> 
> Anywho! Warnings for this one would be mentions of self harm, (nothing too graphic, it’s just mentioned) and I think that’s it?? If there’s anything else let me know! Anyway! On with Lè fic!

Roman coped in some not too good ways, the other sides had come to notice. 

Wether it was blasting his music so loud the others were sure it would permanently damage his hearing, skipping meals on purpose, or going on one too many quests. They all knew he didn’t cope very well. 

  
The one they were most concerned with, though, was when Roman took a blade to his skin, leaving thin red lines in their place. 

They had all noticed at different times, different occasions, but they all knew. Even if Roman didn’t know they knew. 

So when one, or all, of them would notice Roman looking particularly tired some mornings, notice him wearing long sleeves and hoodies instead of his normal princely attire, they would all be just that little bit nicer to him. Nothing that would raise suspicions, but just enough to hopefully give him hope. 

  
Patton would casually throw his arm over his shoulder more often than normal, Virgil would lay off the name callings just a tad, Deceit and Remus would try and aggravate him less than normal, Remus forgoing pranking his brother all together on days he could tell were bad, and Logan would be...softer. His criticisms lost their sharp edges, and he would smile reassuringly at Roman if he caught him staring off into space for too long. Even occasionally going as far as to place a hopefully comforting hand on Roman’s shoulder. 

  
So yeah, they tried. Sure, they probably should’ve brought it up with Roman when they noticed, but how could they? None of them knew how to start that conversation, and none of them were sure the prince would even listen. 

So for now, they would be content helping and cheering on Roman from the sidelines. Even if he didn’t know they were. They were fine with it, really, they were.

  
Until they _weren’t_. 

  
Until one day when they couldn’t just ignore the elephant in the room anymore, one day when Roman had gone too far. 

  
He had cut deep, almost too deep. Hell, it would’ve been too deep if Remus hadn’t convinced them that something was wrong, and that they needed to check on Roman, _now_ , busting down the bathroom door to find Roman almost unconscious, underneath the spray of the shower, a knife in his now lax hand, with various gashes and cuts lining both of his arms, from his shoulders all the way to his wrists. 

  
Logan had been the one to turn off the water, gently scooping him up into his arms bridal style, before bringing him to the living room. With the rest of the sides following quickly behind. 

They all fretted about him, Logan and Deceit were the ones to tend to his wounds, while Patton was trying to keep a distressed Remus and anxious Virgil calm. 

Eventually, though, they had finished tending to his various cuts and gashes, the others had calmed down significantly, and Roman had fallen into an uneasy rest, needing time to heal from the blood loss. 

  
And that’s how they ended up in this situation, all of them surrounding Roman on his bed, waiting for him to wake up. 

Logan had moved him here after he and Deceit had finished tending to his wounds, figuring Roman would appreciate waking up in a familiar, and hopefully comforting, place. 

  
A few days had come and gone, and Roman was still no closer to waking up. Logan, knowing more medically wise, had tried to sooth everyone’s fears, assuring them that this was normal for the amount of blood loss Roman had suffered. 

The others were still concerned, though, choosing to take up camp in Roman’s room, only leaving to go to the bathroom, or to cook food. Which they would now bring to Roman’s room to eat it there. Not wanting to leave the prince all alone, lest he wake up while they were gone. 

  
A week had passed, and even Logan had to admit, he was starting to get worried now, too. 

Roman should have awoken _days_ ago now. But he still hasn’t. But, there was nothing they could do but wait it out. Hoping their family member would be okay. 

  
Surprisingly, things had actually been going pretty well outside of the mindscape. Remus has taken over Roman’s duties, at least for now. And it wasn’t completely horrible! Thomas’ ideas were just a bit more juvenile than normal.

  
Speaking of Thomas, he had been a little shaken up when they told him the situation with Roman, but he was doing better now all things considered. He even visited the creative side a few times. 

Almost two weeks had come and gone now since “the incident”, as they chose to call it. And Roman seemed to be no closer to waking still. 

  
At this point, everyone was a bundle of nerves, anxiously awaiting for Roman to, hopefully, awaken again. 

Their stress all manifested itself in various ways. 

  
Patton stress baked, he would bake batch after batch of Roman’s favorite chocolate chip cookies, wanting to have some for him whenever he woke up. Logan studied, searching book after book for anything that could help with Roman. 

Virgil liked to pace, walking back and forth down the hallways when being in Roman’s room became too much to bare. Deceit, surprisingly, stress knit. So far he had made three blankets, one of which was covering Roman, two scarves, a few various hats, new gloves for himself, and currently, he was working on pot holders for Patton. 

Thomas wasn’t as stressed as he could’ve been, possibly because he wasn’t there, in Roman’s room on a day to day basis. But, whenever he did get stressed about it, he would settle down and watch a few episodes of mindless tv until his nerves were calm again. 

  
And Remus? Well, he seemed to be taking it the hardest of them all.

He was practically buzzing with nervous energy constantly. He would go from bouncing off the walls with anxiety, to sitting in the same position for hours, seemingly staring off into nothing. Most of the time, though, he was at Roman’s bedside. He would often fall asleep slumped over his bed, holding his twins hand. 

More times than not, the others would awake to Remus snoring softly, head resting near his twins hand. Whoever it was would usually cover him with a blanket, possibly even adjusting him if he looked too uncomfortable. 

  
So, to say they were all restless at this point would be an understatement. They all still held out hope, though. That their princely family member would wake up again soon. 

  
_Soon_ they reminded themselves, _soon...._


	2. I woke up from a never ending dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman finally, finally awakens again.
> 
> But it isn’t all happy sunshine and rainbows...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooooo I finally,,,finished the second chapter oof- 
> 
> Sorry it took so long! I had major writing block while writing/editing this- oof- 
> 
> But!! I FINALLY finished it! I hope it lives up to y’alls expectations! There will definitely be more, though! I have a couple more ideas for chapters I’d like to add! So stay tuned for that :) 
> 
> Anyway, enough talking! I hope you enjoy!! <3

Another day or so had passed, and there was still no sign of Roman waking up anytime soon. 

  
His bedside table had been transformed with various different flowers, cards, and nick knacks from each of the sides. There were even things there from Thomas, Remy, and Emile. 

At this point, the others had slowly started spending more time in their own respective rooms. They didn’t want to leave Roman, but it was unhealthy to be cooped up in there all day. 

  
Instead, they all took turns. One side would stay with him each day, and then swap out the next. 

Currently, it was Remus’ turn, and he had taken up his well worn spot in the chair next to his brothers bed. 

He sighed, resting his elbows on Roman’s bed, before placing his head in his hands.

“You know...Ro, things have been really really boring without you around.” He whispered, gently grabbing one of his brother hands, squeezing it comfortingly. 

“Just...please Roman, please wake up soon. We all miss you so so much. And I swear, if you ever tell anyone what I’m about to say, I will lick your toes, but I- well, I love you, little brother.”

  
He carefully lent forward, brushing some of Roman’s messy hair out of his face, before gently pressing a brotherly kiss against his forehead. Remus sighed, running his fingers through Roman’s unkempt hair. 

Leaning back in his chair, he carefully let go of Roman’s hand, before reaching for his phone on the nightstand. “Welp, time for mindless video games!” 

  
And that’s how he and Roman spent their afternoon. Of course, Roman just slept through it, but hey, who’s counting. Time with his brother was still time with his brother in Remus’ book. 

Looking at the clock, it was now around 2pm. Patton had brought him lunch around an hour or so ago. Remus frowned at that. Roman hadn’t eaten since before this all started. Hell, maybe even before that. There’s no telling with his brother. 

Looking over at his twin, you could already tell he was skinner. His cheekbones were more sunken in, and his muscles had lost their tone. Roman would have a lot of work to do _if-..._ once. _Once_ he awoke again. 

  
Of course, the sides didn’t need to eat per-say. But it did help them. And it definitely wasn’t recommend to go as long without eating as Roman had.

Remus shook his head, clearing his thoughts. There was no point worrying about it now, the past was in the past and he couldn’t change that. 

  
All he could do was make sure the future was a better one, for everyone involved. But especially for Roman. 

He never wanted to do this again, to see this again. To see his little brothers arms torn to shreds from his own doing. Remus was no stranger to intrusive thoughts, I mean, it was kinda his namesake. But still. He didn’t like seeing his brother so hurt. 

  
And to know that he felt he had to do this? It was crushing him. 

Turning back to his twin, he carefully covered him up again, noticing that the blanket had slipped down. 

  
Just as he was about to stand up, he heard a noise that stopped him dead in his tracks. 

Quickly whipping his head around, he locked his eyes on his brothers face. Holding his breath, he waited, and then waited a moment more.

Finally, he exhaled, figuring the noise was just in his head. 

  
Until it happened again.

Turning back towards Roman, he waited longer this time,scooting closer towards him. Carefully examining him, he picked up one of his bandaged hands in both of his. 

“Ro...Roman? Are you, are you awake...?” He quietly whispered. Waiting, the only sounds that could be heard in the room were Remus’ carefully calculated breaths. 

One moment turned into two, and two turned into three. Remus was entirely convinced he imagined it at this point, turning his head away as he sighed. 

  
Until Roman coughed. 

  
And this time, oh _this time,_ Remus was sure he heard him. 

“Roman? Roman! Can you hear me??” 

Roman blinked, slowly moving his tired eyes towards his brother, because _yes_ , he could hear him. But he didn’t want to, he _wanted_ to slip back into whatever peaceful darkness he had been in before.

Now everything just hurt. He could feel dull aches running up and down his full body, and the main soreness located on his arms. 

  
He tried to push himself up, but his stupid arms failed him, and he fell right back into his mattress. 

“Whoa! Careful, Roman. Don’t hurt yourself anymore than you already have!” Remus exclaimed, carefully settling his brother in a propped up position.

(Although, Remus was pretty sure if he moved his arm from behind Roman’s back, he would’ve fallen straight back down.) 

  
Roman just blinked at him, before what Remus said had set in. Wait...what did he mean by “anymore than you already have”? What was going on? 

Now that he was gaining back some awareness, he was so, so confused. Why was he so confused? What happened? Last thing he remembers was sitting alone in the bathroom, just waiting to- wait. Waiting to do what? What was he waiting for? 

Going over a mental checklist, Roman began trying to unravel his confusion. 

_Okay, focus, go over what you know. You were in the bathroom, check, it was nighttime, check- Wait, why was it night? Why did you wait till night? What could’ve been so important you didn’t want everyone else knowing about it?_

_Okay so it was night, you didn’t want anyone knowing it, you were crying- Wait, crying? Why were you crying?_

_  
Wait okay, so it was night, you were crying, and there was a knife- you were showering- Wait, why did you have a knife? What could you- oh. **Oh**. _

The puzzle pieces _finally_ clicked in Roman’s mind, and now, oh, now he remembered. 

  
He remembered it all, he remembered waiting till he was sure, 100% positive that the others were asleep, he remembered crying over his desk, making sure his note was perfect. He remembered grabbing his knife, the note, and sneaking to the bathroom. He remembered stripping from all but his underwear, looking at his grotesque and scarred body in the mirror. He remembered turning on the shower, and then sitting on the toilet seat, sobbing his eyes out, and then sobbing his eyes out some more once he got in the shower. 

  
He remembered making the first cut, how it was intoxicatingly addictive, remembered the sickeningly sweet relief that washed over him as two cuts turned to four, and four to six. 

He remembered the water flowing off him, mixing with his blood until the water was a dark pinkish color. Remembered the water going from scalding hot, to freezing cold. 

  
And, he briefly remembered people shouting his name, Virg-, no, Patton? Logan perhaps? He remembered the voices screaming for him to open the door, to let them in. But Roman couldn’t, not even if he had wanted to, all he could do was weakly stare at the door, the knife still in his now lax hand. 

He remembered the door busting open, and shadowy figures walking in. Remembers them turning the water off, and someone carrying him from the bathroom. But after that, he was out cold. 

“Oman- Oman- ROMAN!” 

Snapping his head up, Roman groggily focused on his twin, blinking hard. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but he just coughed instead. When the fit was over, Remus gently handed him a cup of water, which Roman graciously accepted.

Chugging down the glass of water in record speed, Roman finally felt like he could breathe properly again. 

  
With Remus’ help, he gently lowered himself back into the mass of pillows, letting out a sigh of relief when his head hit the soft mass. 

“....Roman I’m- I’m so happy t-to see you awake..” his brother spoke, voice cracking towards the end. Before knowing what happened, Remus had lunged towards his brother, holding him as tight as he dared.

  
“I-I was s-so scared! I t-thought I had lost you!” Remus wailed into his brothers shoulder. Meanwhile, Roman wasn’t quite sure how to deal with this, how deal with someone being so...so, _concerned_ , with his wellbeing. 

The concept was just so, so foreign to him. Usually when he was hurt, he wouldn’t tell anybody. Therefore not having to deal with any emotional trauma that could’ve ensued. 

  
But this? 

His brother messily sobbing into his shoulder? 

  
It was so strange. So different. He never had to deal with his family being so concerned, and honestly, he hadn’t thought they _would_ be concerned in the first place. So to say it was quite unnerving was an understatement. 

Regardless, he still tried to be as comforting as possible. Reaching his hand up, (which took an incredible amount of strength on Roman’s part), he gently patted his brothers back. Hoping to be slightly comforting if nothing else. 

  
Suddenly, Remus pulled away as if he had been burned, looking at Roman with a fire in his eyes that Roman had never seen before. 

“I- you- how COULD you! You- you just-!” 

And _oh_ , there was the anger and disappointment Roman had been waiting for. Bracing himself for a lecture he was sure would be coming, he waited. 

  
“I mean! You! How COULD YOU! We’ve been worried sick! I just! You’re unbelievable! Your life is PERFECT! How could you do this to me! To us!” Remus practically screamed at his brother, furious at him, but mostly mad at himself for letting his brother down so badly. 

“Ree...I-I’m-“ Roman tried to placate his brother, but it was to no use, he was on one of his rants and wouldn’t listen until he finished. So he just hunkered down, waiting for Remus to finish telling him off, as a few traitorous tears rolled down his face. 

“I mean! What could be SO wrong in little mr prince charmings world to make you wanna do this! I swear sometimes I just want to-! Just want to—!” Suddenly, Remus brought his hand up, meaning to slap his brother in the face, before Roman, full body flinching, stopped him. 

Recoiling back as if he had been shot, Remus was in shock of what he almost did. He- he almost slapped his little brother! The one who had just woken up from an attempt to take his own life! How-how could he! 

  
“Roman-! I’m so sorry-! I-“ Remus was cut off, his brother holding up a weak hand, signaling him to stop talking. 

“N-no, it’s...it’s okay, Ree. You’re right. I deserved it all, g-go ahead, if you’re gonna slap me, you can. You can even finish what I started, if you want to. I’d deserve that too. Y’shoulda just let ‘m die, shoulda just left me there...” 

In that moment, Remus was sure his face could show how utterly heartbroken he was. How could his twin, his little brother think that!? There’s no way he could’ve ever left his brother to die. Never ever ever. 

He got lost in his feelings before, but he swore in that moment, he would never lay, or threaten to lay, another hand on Roman, never ever ever EVER. Not so long as he was alive. “Hey no no no, don’t say that Ro, don’t say that! It’s- it’s not true. I could’ve never ever left you there _.”_

  
Roman didn’t look an ounce convinced, so Remus kept talking. 

“I swear! I- we- we wouldn’t know what to do without you! Who else would go around singing Disney songs out of the blue if you weren’t here? Huh? And who would help Patton with his baking? And who would help me improve my fighting skills! And who would help Virgil calm down when he has a panic attack? And who wo-“ 

“Ree, I get it, I’m..I’m useful, I get it, i was a fuck up for trying to end it. You don’t have to pretend to care okay? I get it. I’m an essential part of Thomas, therefore I cannot leave. You don’t have to pretend to care any longer. You or the others for that matter...” 

  
Remus just blinked at his brother, he thought...he really thought- oh of course his knucklehead of a brother would think-! Ugh! Why must everything be so complicated!? 

“Roman! That’s not true!” 

Roman just looked at his brother with a look that clearly said you think I’m dumb enough to believe that?” 

“No! I mean it! I fucking do! You mean the wor- no! Universe to me! And the others! You could be the most USELESS- which you aren’t! Person ever! And we would still love and cherish you all the same! Your worth is not determined by how “useful” you are, I don’t even think you can determine someone’s worth, not really.” 

He paused, looking at his brothers face, which had tears slowly falling down it, before reaching down and grabbing one of his brothers hands in both of his. 

  
“But I-.. I love you, Roman. We all do. All of us. You mean so so much to us. And I’m sorry for yelling before, my emotions got the best of me, I was just so, so worried. I almost lost you, bro. Do you know how scared I was? Walking in and seeing you dazing at the door, a knife in your hand, with blood all over? It terrified us all. And you’ve been out for over three weeks-! It’s just, it’s a lot, Roman. But I swear to you, promise on my life, we love you, we care about you, and we are here for you. To the ends of the earth and back.” 

  
Roman sniffled, before lunging for his brother, sobbing messily into his shoulder.

“I-I-I’m s-sorry! So s-so sorry! So s-so s-sorry!” 

  
“Shhhh shh, it’s okay, RoRo, shhh it’s okay. You’re okay, you’ll be okay.” Roman was shaking so much that Remus was sure if he wasn’t holding him in place, he would’ve shaken himself off the bed by now. 

But hell, Remus wasn’t any better, to be fair. Tears had began falling down his cheeks, too. A mixture of happiness, anguish, sadness, anger, you name it, he felt it. All of it combining and mixing into one. 

  
His heart hurt from hearing the gut wrenching sobs Roman was letting out, but at the same time, it was reassuring. Because he’s real, he’s alive, he’s alive he’s alive _he’s alive._ And Remus couldn’t be more happy about that. 

“Shh it’s okay, Ro, it’s okay. Big bro Ree is here now, nothing will hurt you again. Nothing.” 

Remus hugged his brother even tighter, reaffirming his comforting words. And reassuring himself that this was _real_ , he was _alive_. 

Sure, they had a long way to go till Roman would be okay, till _they_ would be okay. But that was okay, it would be okay, they would get through this together. 

  
_Remus had his brother back now, and he was never letting go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I hope that was good!! 
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter will have more comfort in it!! Possibly with the other sides??👀👀👀 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading! Hope it was enjoyable! 
> 
> Stay safe! Take care of y’all selves!! 🍪💕🍪💕

**Author's Note:**

> Heh,,,I’m evEL! 
> 
> But no seriously I hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Like I said, there should hopefully be a second chapter to this soon. I can’t leave it with an unhappy ending! 
> 
> Anywhos! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Bye bye, be safe! Love y’all! <3
> 
> (Also!! The titles for this fic is from a new song from all time low called “some kind of disaster” 11/10 recommend listening to it!)


End file.
